hasn't quite hit me yet {part two}

this week, my little brother carter's missionary papers were submitted. obviously, this has been a long time coming--we've been talking about him going on a mission basically since he was born. but now that it's actually legitimately close--like, on the horizon--i'm trying (and mostly failing) to hold it together. last week he posted his mission picture on instagram, and when meredith showed it to mom and i at chipotle, we both burst into tears

the four of us siblings are pretty close. we're close enough in age that we still have similar interests, and moving to utah when we did kind of forced us to be friends with each other in a place where we didn't start out with too many friends. and, as much as this pains me to say, it probably helps that we're all still single. it will definitely be interesting to add new personalities to the mix. someday! :)

but what i'm really trying to say is that it is going to be hard to send my little buddy out into the mission field. i know he's going to be an amazing missionary, and i know that is what he's supposed to be doing and i wouldn't have it any other way, but there is going to be a pretty big hole where he should be. it will be super weird to be three sisters without the pesty little brother. and who knows what my parents are going to do with an empty nest! (well, semi-empty, of course ;))

tonight mom called me and said that a certain apostle wants to hand-deliver carter's call, which he assigned today. so, it's happening! next week we'll know where he will be laboring for the next two years. i'm basically a mess. i started writing this at work and had to postpone until i got home because i was bawling at my desk. but while there are a lot of tears now (and i'm positive there will be a ton of tears when he leaves), i'm excited for him and the great things he will do. godspeed, elder!