Wednesday, October 30, 2013

working girl

wow, remember how a week and a half went by in a flash? i've been immersed in training, learning about the university, the industry, and all of the policies and procedures that go along with my job.

i'm pretty excited about everything, actually. most of the people are pretty cool, and i'm learning pretty quickly, and i guess i pretty much like it. i mean, the whole working full time thing isn't the most fun, but that's just a part of growing up, really.

so, i'm happy. i was a little nervous, but i'm good now. i have a desk! i have health insurance! i have paid holidays and sick days! i have paychecks! that's the most important thing, probably :)

token first day of work picture :)

Sunday, October 20, 2013

mixed feelings

tomorrow, i start my new job. i haven't really been in denial about my nervousness--it just makes sense that, when you start something new, there will be a learning curve. i'm not nervous about that, the actual job part, because i know i'm a capable person and i can do hard things. but i am a little nervous about how much my life is going to change. don't get me wrong--i want to be working and doing fulfilling things with my time. but this is a pretty big change. i'll be meeting a lot of new people, working in a new field, spending the majority of my waking hours in a new and foreign place, adjusting to a new schedule and new rules (like, remember how now i can't have spontaneous vacations? not that i ever really do anyway, was nice having the option, i guess). it's a lot to figure out.

i hope this doesn't sound whiny. i'm excited to be moving on to this new phase, excited to be meeting these new people, working in a new field, getting to know this new place and new schedule and new rules. but it's also scary to leave that old phase behind, you know? i'll see pictures on instagram of people who are in provo and that feels like a different world. it was only two months ago that i was there, my home of seven years! but now i'm like, why are they still in provo? nothing against provo, obviously, but it seems like everyone else should be moving along with me, but then i realize that, no, i'm kind of on my own here. maybe that's why it's scary. even though i'm at home, with my family, this new job is something that is just mine, just for me to navigate.

but i guess that's all a part of growing up, right?

Monday, October 14, 2013


the other night, as i was saying my prayers, i was thinking about how grateful i am to be a part of the true church and to have a knowledge of the true gospel. i have so many amazing blessings because of these truths. sometimes, at times like this, i start to wonder how it is that i could be so lucky. out of all the churches and all the belief systems, i am a member of the only true one, born into this restored church of Jesus Christ? it seems unbelievable.

then the thought process usually goes like this: what if this is all just a big hoax? what if, at the end of everything, nothing is the way we think it will be and we're all just floating out in the ether, alone? what if our leaders have either been deceived themselves or are deceiving all of us? what if it isn't true?

but then i remember: i know it's true. i've felt it, over and over again. i know the gospel is true, and this is the only true church. i know our leaders are inspired and that they commune with God. i know that i can also receive revelation and comfort and forgiveness and companionship and knowledge. it's true. i know it.

this became a classic quote as soon as president uchtdorf said it last saturday, but that doesn't make it any less true or relevant.
hold to what you know--there is great power in faith, even just a tiny amount. i know that exercising faith leads to more faith and more knowledge, and that's how i know it's all true.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

thoughts on thursday

for the past few weeks, i've been going to water aerobics a couple times a week with mom. i am, by far, the youngest person there, since probably most people my age are either at work or school or getting ready for one of those at 8 in the morning. just another aspect of this funny time in my life. but water aerobics is pretty cool. it's exercising without really realizing that you are. probably the best moment, though, was last week when we warmed up to a version of "mmmbop"--i'm fairly certain i was the only one who knew the song. rec center water aerobics: always a good time.

now that i have a job, i'm all of a sudden in the market for a car. it feels weird. so many things are happening! pretty soon, i'll have my own medical insurance and my own car payment and i'll be living in a place where i probably won't know anyone. life is crazy. but back to the car: i really wish i could get a little suv, but i don't know if that will happen. so yeah, that's going on. i'm looking to become a car owner.

i'm listening to the new avett brothers album on npr's first listen as i type. can i just say that it is one of the greatest saddnesses in my life right now that i most likely won't be able to see them anytime soon? so good.

i got this book/kit from amazon last week. i like to doodle, and i would love to be able to do some hand lettered, hand doodled art projects. since i had just gotten the kit the day before, my notes from conference are the most artistic they've ever been.

i downloaded the app duolingo earlier this week and now i'm learning how to speak french. on my phone. so far it's pretty cool, and the lessons get pretty advanced as you go along. i'm kind of excited about it. anybody want to speak french with me when i can actually hold a conversation? maybe next i'll try to master german.

last week the last season of the office went up on netflix, and, naturally, i watched it in about three days. and i cried in probably a third of the episodes. it's still really bittersweet that it's over, even though the ending was perfect.
why haven't i made this my cover photo yet??

i'm still deep into the old testament. i'm hoping things spice up a little bit soon, because numbers and deuteronomy and joshua, while informative, were pretty dry. but i will be vigilant!

i also need to recap conference, which was amazing. coming soon! in the meantime, life is still good. happy thursday!

big news

as some may know, for the past couple months (really actually the past year or so), i have been on the job hunt. this was made somewhat harder by the fact that i want to teach and love to teach yet don't have a teaching certificate as of yet. so, the age-old question remained: what can you do with an english major?

job searching isn't easy. you don't feel that great about yourself. you see "now hiring" signs everywhere but none of them attached to a job or place you want to work. only a handful of the applications you send out lead to interviews, and a surprising number never garner any type of response at all. i like to think of those application out there in the nethers of the internet, waiting to be evaluated. i'll probably hear from them in a few months. how do you get a first job, the job that will help you gain real field experience, if all the positions require you to have prior experience? i don't know; i guess i was a little late to this game. i mean, i did a master's program partly because i wasn't ready to go out into the world and leave my little provo life.
i got the job!! and i don't take flattering selfies...

anyway, all this is leading up to the announcement that I GOT A JOB! i heard yesterday, and it's all very exciting for me. i will have a salary! plus benefits! i can once again become a functioning and independent part of society! i'm pretty sure my parents are even more excited than i am ;) i am really grateful that things worked out the way they did and that i have Somebody looking out for me. many somebodies, actually--i have been overwhelmed by the support and prayers of so many friends and family members this past little while.

i will be working at the salt lake/global campus of strayer university, which specializes in career-track online education for mostly adult students. i will be an admissions coordinator, so i'll be working with recruiters and students, helping them get situated. i'll get to know the ins and outs of this kind of higher education. i think it will be pretty cool. i start october 21st.
i still want to teach at some point. i think i'll end up getting my certification in a couple years. or maybe seminary? i would love to teach seminary. so we'll see. for now i am glad to be employed once again. there goes #4 on my list of 25 things to do this year.

get a big girl job: check.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

that one time we saw hanson and it was amazing

i have been a hanson fan for a very long time. back in 1997, i kept hearing this catchy song, and then the djs would talk about these three brothers with long blond hair from oklahoma. i had to get in on that action, and eventually i was a full-fledged fanson. i got their first album, middle of nowhere, for christmas. i got their tour video for my birthday. i collected posters from j-14 and tiger beat and hung
them up in my room. i tracked their television appearances, from snl to good morning america to sabrina the teenage witch. and i've loved them ever since. i have every album, including their brilliant christmas offering, snowed in, and i've still never gotten
to see them live.

when i was younger, it was never really an option. they were pretty huge at one point, and we weren't really a concert-going family. then, though i was still a fan listening to the music they put out every couple years, i wasn't thinking about going to a show and being able to actually see these guys that i had loved for so long. i mean, as a boy-crazy preteen, i stayed up late in my room pretending i was a recently added member of hanson--asked to join because they were missing a beautiful dancer to spruce up their live performances. and also obviously zac was in love with me.

all of this is leading to the fact that, after 16 years of devotion, i finally got to see hanson live. i still a little bit can't believe that it actually happened, but my sisters and i bought tickets, went on the walk, and saw a hanson show--on berg's birthday, of all things! i could write so much about the details--how almost everyone in the audience was a female in her mid- to late-twenties or early-thirties (except for those random older people that creeped us out), how we met a hanson fan from slovakia, also a
first-time concert-goer, how i couldn't hear the next day, how everyone sang along to every song. it was seriously a dream come true for me, and i know how silly that sounds. after so many daydreams, i was a tiny bit sad that all of them are married and therefore not looking in the audience for a potential mate, which was always the way i envisioned getting into the inner circle, but i got over it ;)

in a word, it was great. amazing, even. nay, fantastic. no, more: exceptional. i might go so far as to say it was the greatest concert i've been to, and i saw taylor swift from the pit. for me, this concert was perfect. and i would go again in a second. thanks for going with me, sisters! thanks for being born, berg! and thanks, hanson, for still being my favorite band of all time. fanson forever.
we "took the walk"--we met up with zac and taylor a few hours before the show and walked a mile around salt lake barefoot. they do this before every show--they donate a dollar for every person who walks. and this is how close i got to zac. close enough to give him a little pat on the butt, if i had wanted.

conference is upon us

this weekend is, once again, General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. as i've said before, these two days consist of leaders from our church speaking on various doctrinal topics. these leaders pray about the messages they need to give, seeking to deliver an address that hits current issues, offers instruction, and hopefully provides an answer for someone in need. over the weekend, i  know i will be spiritually fed, as cheesy as that sounds (see what i did there?). i can't wait for this semiannual event, and, though i don't think i will get to be in the conference center this time, i will be watching every session, pen in hand. and i know that i will get some answers, hopefully to questions i've been asking for awhile, but probably to questions that i didn't even know i had.

i invite you all to take this week to prepare for conference, whatever that means for you. and then watch!