sick days

so, i've already been feeling strangely apprehensive about this new fall semester. i knew things were going to be changing a little bit, and i have this pressure to be figuring out what i'm writing my thesis on, and i need to get this paper ready for the conference in a month, and the ward is all new, and whatever else. the last thing i needed was to get sick the weekend before school started.

but, of course, that's exactly what happened. and it isn't even like a regular cold that you just live through with the help of nasal spray and nyquil. no, this is some weird thing that makes me feel like my ears are plugged and like i'm going to fall over and like my head is going to explode. it is worst when i'm sitting in class not moving, which isn't good, since school is kind of something i have to be doing right now.

thankfully, yesterday dad happened to be coming down to provo so he could take me to the health center, a place i have never visited in my previous five years at byu. i got some medicine, which seems to be working, slowly but surely, so i feel i am on the road to recovery and renewed motivation.

for some reason, starting school again is almost always associated, at least for me, with being sick. it has happened to me multiple times! maybe this is just the universe telling me that i need to be done with school ASAP. could be.

pick-me-up

i've talked about this before--sometimes i get down. i start feeling like i can't do it all and that i'm not good enough to do the things i want to do.

but then...

pretty much without fail, i get a little reminder that i actually have it pretty good and that i'm not alone in this thing called life. i can do it, and i am pretty awesome.

this last sunday was one of those reminder days. all of the meetings taught me things that i've been needing to brush up on, then i went to a fireside where a prophet spoke as if directly to me and i realized that i don't need to be afraid of the future, and later we had our customary father's blessings to open the school year. it was a great day.

i also had another realization: i focus too much on people and what they are doing, whether it be people i know or people i don't. obviously, it is good to care about people and be interested in their lives, but i remembered a quote that i've heard a few times.

so, if i want to cultivate a great mind (and i do. want to cultivate a great mind, that is.), i need to talk more about ideas and less about people. so i'm counting that as one of my goals for this next stretch of time.

a week in bullets

this has been a busy week, but i don't really want to write a huge post now, so here's a quick update.

• wednesday was my final--at 7am. it was early, but donuts and the fallon/colbert "friday" lifted our spirits a little. 
• on thursday i went to park city for nassr. it was fun to go to a real, big time conference and see what it is like to hobnob with some star scholars. and i went to a panel called "austen's social media." awesome. 
• friday we met up with carolyn and rosie for lunch and a movie in draper. zupas was delicious as usual, and the help was pretty great. i love emma stone, and i really, really want this dress. 

•  after the movie we three went to ikea, where i found more things that i adore: a new rug, a lamp for the living room, more napkins, and a lovely toile closet organizer. all in all a successful and satisfying day. and that night we went to pei wei and played nerts until we couldn't stand it.
• saturday we slept in and then went back to park city to shop at the outlets. i love the outlets. never a disappointment. except, there were a ton of people there, which put mom in a bad mood pretty quick. still fun though. 
• yesterday we had a lesson on the law of chastity that didn't prompt any disgruntled feelings. and we played nerts again and watched the singles ward, which is always good for a few laughs, especially at the early-aughts-era clothes (look at this shirt--red sateen with metallic flames? yikes.).
• then, today, i woke up when bergen was calling me to come eat crepes. so i did. nutella, cinnamon sugar, whipped cream, peanut butter--a great way to start the day. 

so there you have it. a week filled with family, food, and flibbertigibbets. okay, not really that last thing, but i just saw it on dictionary.com and wanted to use it.

scenes that make me smile: part one

yesterday i went into the jfsb to check my box, and i obviously called for the elevator since i don't walk up four stories worth of stairs. anyway, when the elevator car arrived, i was surprised to see a side table, two little leather ottomans, and what i assume was a full italian dinner laid out in tupperware. i think it was italian because of the tell-tale green container of parmesan cheese. oh, and there was also a bottle of martinelli's. the best thing, though, was that no one was sitting at this little table of love--it was just riding up and down.

i didn't see the two lovebirds who were going to share this lovely elevator meal, but i got a chuckle out of it. and i hope they had fun riding on the elevator most likely picking up passengers every so often.

side note: this is the second date i've come upon in a jfsb elevator. just another one of those "original" byu dates i guess :)

a little dose of female empowerment

yesterday i was following links around the internet, as i often do, and i came across one blog post that was based on another article in the huffington post. they both addressed the issue of how we talk to little girls, which is something i haven't thought about lately. i recommend both pieces; they are both well-written and enlightening.

anyway, if you don't want to take the time to read both articles, they talk about how our first urge, when we meet or see a little girl, is to compliment her on her outfit or her hairstyle or her general adorableness. because they really are really cute, and this is the way we have been taught to talk to little girls. what does a compliment based on appearance teach about the things we value, though?

instead, we should focus on actually talking with little girls, asking them about their ideas and feelings. like "what books do you like?" or "what is your favorite thing to do with your dad?" or "what games do you like to play?" even just thinking about questions, it was hard for me to come up with a couple that didn't focus on clothes or hair. those seem like the most natural things to talk about. but like lisa bloom says in her article, it is important to "model for her what a thinking woman says and does." and maybe if we show these little girls that their opinions, not just their looks, matter, we can start to change things.

as i was reading these, i thought about the last time i talked to a little girl. i think it was my zumba instructor's daughter, when she was at our class last week. and, even though she is completely adorable, i'm pretty sure our brief conversation was about her dance hobby. i didn't get to talk to her for very long, but i was still surprised how much she had to say.


i'm going to be more aware of this from now on, and i invite you all to do the same. we have too many other problems in the world for beautiful, smart, amazing little girls to be feeling insecure about the way they look or whether they are worth anything. and substantial conversations with little girls are pretty great. so go out and talk to a little girl today :)

and here's a classic video of a little girl who clearly knows how awesome she is.

a recommitment to summer fun

i kind of feel like this summer has gotten away from me. i had all these big plans of things i was going to do, and i'm not sure i really did any of them. i've pretty much been here in provo all summer long, which is bumming me out.

so, i am determined to make these next few weeks before school starts back up again really great. i want to have fun and get out of the house and have parties and make stuff and read and swim and just generally lap up the last days of summer freedom. winter in utah comes way too fast, and i want to be able to say that i made the most of summer, at least for a little while.

so, here i go. if anybody wants to help me out with having an awesome three week summer, they are welcome to.

a shrine to my former shrine

when i was younger, i, like many tween/teen girls, was rather boy crazy. (who am i kidding, really? i'm still pretty boy crazy.) i have had crushes on many boys who were actually in my life, like the one who in kindergarten slammed my face into the ground or the one in my ward who i swooned over every time he blessed the sacrament or came to home teach. but i, like many tween/teen girls, have also had many celebrity crushes. and i put their pictures on the wall above my bed so they would be near me always.

i got nostalgic for those good ol' days of shrine-making and magazine-hoarding when i was listening to the new incubus album last weekend. lead singer brandon boyd was on my wall, and i still think he is very attractive. and i love his voice and his music. he writes lyrics like "i dig my toes into the sand/the ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket/ i lean against the wind/pretend that i am weightless/ and in this moment i am happy." listening to him the other day took me back to the days when i would listen to morning view and pretend i met the band and he fell in love with me. does that sound a little crazy? possibly. anyway, this was one of the swoon-worthy pictures taped to my wall.

anyone remember the magazine ym? i forgot about it until today.

also this one.

whew. love that guy. and apparently he likes to go shirtless. sorry about that, guys. so anyway, thinking about brandon boyd reminded me of all the other unreachables who made my wall. there was tom welling, of smallville fame.

heath ledger in the poster for a knight's tale. i ripped this out of a magazine and put it up on my wall.

what girl growing up in the 90s didn't have a huge thing for jtt? i sure did. i ate up those teen magazines like tiger beat if only for the full size posters of him and devon sawa. and i'm pretty certain that this ad graced my wall at some point. that hair!

of course, hanson. and, though i loved them even when they had long, somewhat-greasy-looking hair, i loved them even more when they cut their hair and started dressing with some style. i had many a late night, dancing and singing in front of my mirror, pretending i went to one of their concerts and they saw me and i joined the band and eventually zac fell for me.

i don't put pictures of hot celebrities on my wall anymore, maybe because i don't spend quite so much time thinking about hot celebrities anymore. times were simpler then.