Tuesday, October 23, 2012

where are the good guys?

i don't profess to know everything about dating or to be any kind of an expert, but i have observed a lot in my dating years. after being in provo almost seven years, it would be almost impossible to not observe a whole bunch of dating shenanigans.

one of the things i have wondered through the years is whether there really are awesome guys out there, guys who know what they want to do or who know how to treat women or who understand what is really important in life. there are so many men around who don't seem to know that, like the ones who are more concerned about making a friendship weird than trying to cultivate what could be a real relationship. or the ones who just go around having random hook-ups and call it "dating." this is not to say that there aren't also girls who don't really seem to know what it's all about. and. another disclaimer, i know not everyone is so focused on dating and marriage. some people are super focused on school, which isn't bad. but there comes a time, maybe when you're in your mid-20s or so, when you should probably start thinking seriously about settling down and acting/being spouse-worthy.

last week, one of my friends shared something with me that showed me, once again (he actually does this fairly often), that there are good guys in this world. i hope they really aren't as much of the exception to the rule as i sometimes think, because we need some great guys these days, for a whole host of reasons. anyway, so this friend was at the aforementioned stake dance. he, like most people, went mostly for social reasons: to scope out the cute girls. he realized, though, as he noticed several girls sitting on the sidelines all night, not getting asked to dance, that this was a somewhat misguided purpose. he realized that, as a good Christian man, he could be doing more. he resolved to ask those girls to dance and rethink his reasons for going to activities. clearly, going to a stake dance to meet people and have fun is not a bad thing. but is it the best thing? my friend saw that there were some needs that he could help fill. as a girl who has been there, has been the one who doesn't get asked to dance, this feels especially important.

i guess my point is that my faith in guys has been restored. sometimes it feels like there are no jim halperts out there, no really good guys who do things the right way and know what they want and treat people right. but i know there are. and as someone who's trying to be a good girl, i know there's a good guy out there for me.

bonus picture of john krasinski as jim. isn't that just a good-guy face?

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