Thursday, March 3, 2011

burned out

obviously, i'm in school, so i have to do school work.
reading countless books and articles, writing papers and other such things, participating in class, highlighting, underlining, hand raising, laughing at the professor's jokes (okay, sometimes that isn't really work), annotating, trying to think of something intelligent to say, trying to think of something intelligent to write, going to meetings, printing things, copying things, checking things out from the library, researching. etcetera.
it all gets a little tiring sometimes.

sometimes i think about what would happen if i just left school and went and...this is where it gets dicey. what would i do? try to find a job? travel around europe? go live with my parents? (no. i'm not going to be one of THOSE kids.) just read and read every day for the rest of my life?

so, i'm not going to quit school, but there are some days where i really wish i had nothing else to do but read, watch the office, write in my journal, laugh with friends, and eat good food.

confession: some days i end up doing this. i think i would go insane if i didn't.

the point is, even though it seems like it would be so much better if i could just abandon school, all i need is a little distraction every once in awhile and i can get through it. in the long run, i think i will be glad that i have done this master's program, though it has shown me how i DON'T want to live the rest of my life. 

and, there really are some bright spots in my life right now. 
one. i love my students a lot. they are pretty great. they tell me nice things like how i have the perfect name for a writing teacher and how i let them come to their own conclusions and they like that. and they are funny and text me on my birthday and tell me about their weekends and crazy blind date stories. and they write pretty darn well.
two. i have two new (well, kind of new) besties who are awesome and i love and with whom i am taking a trip to california over reading days. this week has been sadly lacking in hang out time, girls, but we will make up for it next week. 
three. this will perpetually be on my list: the office.
four. arcade fire, the avett brothers, a fine frenzy, and, always, always, always, hanson.
five. letters and emails from hilarious and inspiring boys. 
six. sister/sibling weekend. and stake conference, which means not only spiritual enlightenment (when i typed "enlightenment", it first came out "english" :)), but also a break in meetings and...possible sunday nap?

that's all i can think of right now, but pretty good list, right?
life is good, even when it is hard and i don't want to do the things i have to do. it's all worth it!

1 comment:

  1. Woot! Your life is pretty great, and so are you!

    ReplyDelete