morning outing

yesterday i woke up feeling restless. this isn't exactly unique--i've been having weird sleeping patterns for the past couple weeks. but that day i woke up and wanted to go on a run, which is actually very unique for me. i'm not a runner.

but i got dressed, put on my running shoes, grabbed my ipod, and went on my merry way.

the run really turned into more of a brisk walk, but, with the yeah yeah yeahs as my soundtrack, i wandered around my little square of provo for about an hour. i got sprayed by sprinklers, i saw an adorable old man in suspenders watering his little garden, i saw the elementary school playground with the cool pirate ship we played on one night when no one came to night games, i saw a ton of cute houses that i wish i lived in, and then, finally, i scared jesse as he was pulling out of the driveway on his way to work. and he is still mad that i scared him so bad.

it was a lovely way to spend the morning. have i said lately how much i love summer?

status change

remember when facebook statuses had that compulsory "is"? like "Courtney Beesley is..." "Courtney Beesley is sincerely hoping that this all-nighter will be worth it." or, the classic "Courtney Beesley is sad :(" You always had to talk about yourself in the third person or else it didn't make sense, and your creativity was severely limited by the mundanity of "is" (i'm not sure if "mundanity" is a word, but it should be). it was such a revolution when they took out that pesky "is" and we could finally be direct about things, or at least utilize more than just a simple present tense to be verb.

i might be growing out of facebook a little, but i can't deny that it's had an impact on my life.

Courtney Beesley thanks facebook for that.

the great 'wich hunt: from my own kitchen

this isn't technically part of the search, and i'm not going to rate my own kitchen for menu readability and other such criteria. but, i did make a pretty awesome sandwich the other day, and i feel the need to share it with the blogging world.

the story: i am always on the lookout for good recipes on pinterest. one caught my eye a few weeks ago: 

doesn't that look so delicious?

the recipe: maybe one of the reasons i love sandwiches so much is that they are so easy to make. some would argue that this is the reason not to go out to sandwich places--you can usually make yourself a sandwich fairly easily. and sometimes i do get in that kind of mood, where i decide to just get all the yummy ingredients and do it myself. this sandwich features pesto, provolone (or mozzarella), spinach, sliced avocado, and goat cheese crumbles. just toss all that between two slices of bread, spread some butter on those two slices, and grill to melty perfection.

and here is the finished product. so delicious! though i did decide that, the next time i make this, i will add some bacon because 1) it needed a little touch of salty meatiness, and 2) bacon makes everything better.

so, another successful pinterest meal, and a sandwich that will undoubtedly keep me satisfied for years to come.

on living in provo

some days i can't stand living in provo. sometimes i can't believe how crazy this place is, how not-like-real-life it is. but some days i feel so incredibly lucky to be here, like i can't believe how many amazing experiences i've been able to have in this quirky little city.

today was one of the lucky times.

i was driving home from a wedding reception, down grandview drive, where the road curves and you can see all of the green tall trees in provo and a beautiful park with a stream running through it on the right. and then i looked up at the mountains, which i definitely take for granted, and their verdant majesty. and then i passed some of the spots i love: the hospital, with its cafe open all night, the little bridal store where i am currently employed, the brick oven, all of the places i've ever lived during college, the hammock where i spend my afternoons, the ramp i walked everyday for two years, the beautiful campus where i learned so much about life.

and then i started thinking about all the other provo spots of which i have cherished memories: the dollar theater, which has provided me endless hours of entertainment, helaman halls and the cosmo connection where i faithfully bought toilet paper and cinnamon toast crunch every week, various ice cream/frozen yogurt places around town, the temple, los hermanos, the south campus stream and trail, the rb, the manavu chapel, the tabernacle, denny's, the road leading up to seven peaks and that scary abandoned building, the miller lounge, our neighborhood costa vida, lavell edwards stadium, night games locales, the walk to smiths, smiths, thai village, various pools and hottubs around town, the orem in'n'out, the riverwoods, particularly la jolla groves and tucanos, but also the pavilion where we saw sugar ray last spring, the byu bookstore, the el salvadorean pupusa place on center, the university mall (technically in orem, but this is my list so oh well), the provo d.i., y mountain, fat cats, the taj basement, mike black's house, sammy's (i have a lot of memories at restaurants...), the sweet tooth fairy, the tree streets where i drove around for an hour trying to find nienie's house, the adorable yellow house on 7th north, the provo towne center red robin, the castle, the de jong concert hall, banana leaf, rock canyon park, where i watched tangled outside but also where i performed a scene from as you like it with my study abroad buddies.

there are a lot of things about provo that i love. and i might not want to live here forever, but for now, i need to remember that it is pretty awesome.

p.s. i don't know why the pictures are spaced weird. pictures in blogger is one of the things that gives me the most frustration in life. but, if you are interested, these photos are in, basically, chronological order of my time in provo, starting with the most recent and ending with one of my first pics of freshman year :)

what to do when you can't sleep

for whatever reason, i haven't been able to sleep through the night for the past couple weeks. i don't know if i'm reverting back to infancy or something, but it's starting to get frustrating that i wake up every night at least once, usually around 3 am. this morning a stupid text telling me i won a $1000 best buy gift card woke me up at 3:52 and then i was up for another 2 hours.

last saturday when i woke up at 4:45, i went out on the balcony. but there are some mornings when i can't do that. so here are some of the things that cross my mind as i'm lying awake thinking of things to do to at least make these wakeful hours productive.

push-ups/sit-ups. i might as well work out, right?
read. always has been my go-to, always will be.
go for a run. this is a little sketchy, and i never want to go on runs in real life, but your brain is a little addled at 3 in the morning.
clean. everything.
write in my journal.
go lay in the hammock. because maybe the swaying will put me to sleep?
crafts/art projects. i can never justify doing them during the day, so if i suddenly have a few extra hours, why not?
watch stuff on netflix. i've been meaning to watch bill cunningham new york.

this morning i opted to write in my journal. so, from 4:30 to 6:15, i recorded about 8 pages of recent experiences for posterity.

i'm starting to get worried, though. why can't i sleep? what should i do? i mean, i am trying to put the time to good purpose, but i think that sleep is generally a good purpose, am i right? any suggestions?

favorite songs at this moment

yeah yeah yeahs--"hysteric"

the avett brothers--"january wedding"

amendment: the band i would go see in a heartbeat if money and scheduling were no issue

i have to write something about arcade fire. i thought i liked them before, but after spending the past couple months listening pretty much non-stop to their first two albums in addition to the much-beloved the suburbs, my devotion is complete. every song is so beautifully melodic, so rapturous. the only word i can really use to describe their music is epic--it feels like every song is building me up to some important realization about my life.

the musicality! organ, horns, full strings, accordion, haunting harmonies floating in from the underworld or the heavens, depending on the song.

so, here's a playlist. i give you arcade fire.

                                       

in the early morning

this morning, for whatever reason, i couldn't sleep. maybe i was too excited for the stake seven peaks activity, but i couldn't sleep past five a.m. which is very uncharacteristic.

but i decided to make the best of it, so i grabbed provisions (read: reading materials. what else?) and went out to the balcony.

it was too dark, at first, to read, so i had my little flashlight. but i watched as the sky slowly turned from dark, deep blue to a lighter azure to crisp grey to, finally, bright white as the sun started to peak out from behind Y mountain.

and for a moment i closed my eyes, because i could hear the music of the spheres, or maybe it was the trains in the distance. but either way, what a sunrise.

but since i didn't have a camera, here are some other beautiful sunrises to inspire you.

via

via

the activities which propose to make my summer unforgettable

last year, at the beginning of august, i had to recommit myself to having fun. i felt like i had kind of wasted my summer and i wanted to really make something of the last few weeks before school was in again. this summer is a little different, for a couple of reasons. first, school won't really be "back in" for me come the fall. that is actually really weird to type out/contemplate. and second, i resolved early on this summer that i was going to make it awesome. the time is ripe for some incredible summer adventures. away we go:

lake powell
learn to ride a bike (yeah, i've been saying it for awhile. the time is now.)
mona lake
tuacahn
camp out (partially checked off for roughing it one night in moab)
outdoor movies
bonfires (s'mores=one of my favorite treats ever)
manti pageant
spend time with awesome boys (and girls, but i'm trying to make something happen here)
concerts (twilight concert series season pass? check)
art projects
wearing a skirt or dress every other day at least
write: thesis+essays
demolition derby
strawberries and cream (yummmmmmmmmmm)
swim. obviously. i basically live at the pool already.
boating
floating lanterns, legit style
float the provo river
learn to sew
read good books (like i wouldn't be doing that anyway)

so this is my list thus far. i will update it as i see fit. and my summer shall be unforgettable and un-regrettable (which apparently isn't a word? just kidding. it just isn't a word to blogger, for some reason.)

prom night

a few saturdays ago, as meredith and i were walking back to our house from the local 7-eleven redbox location, we came across a peculiar sight on the main stairs of the provo city library. congregating around the steps were what looked like parents, children and, most interestingly, teenaged couples in formal attire. as we loitered around the outskirts of the gathering, we gathered that this was an old-fashioned, honest-to-goodness promenade.

prom·e·nade

   [prom-uh-neyd, -nahd] noun, verb, prom·e·nad·ed, prom·e·nad·ing

1. a stroll or walk, especially in a public place, as for pleasure or display.

2. an area used for such walking.

3. a march of guests into a ballroom constituting the opening of a formal ball.

4. a march of dancers in square dancing.

5. a formal dance; prom.

so basically, it was a promenade in multiple senses of the word. a master of ceremonies announced each couple as they marched down the grand staircase amid the cheers and applause of their waiting families. 

to me, it was magical. how cool that this school makes such a big deal out of prom night, giving families the chance to see their kids, some of whom will be graduating and leaving the nest soon, all dressed up on what promises to be one of the most memorable nights of their lives!

it made me wish that i had gone to prom in my high school years. usually i don't care about that at all--i mean, i didn't really care about it at the time--but i guess every once in a while i wish i had some really awesome prom/school dance stories to contribute to the conversations that sometimes come up or to tell my own kids when they are getting ready for their own dances. it doesn't matter all that much (i don't think), but it's one area of life that i don't have a lot of personal experience with. 

this wasn't meant to be a pity party; i don't think i'm any worse off, socially or emotionally or anything, because i didn't go to prom. but i was glad we randomly came upon that promenade at the library last week. i should probably play dress up and go to a formal event sometime soon, right?

new catch phrase

i noticed a few days ago that i was saying "there you go" quite often, all of a sudden. like after every third sentence or so. a friend would say, oh, i just remembered what i have to do tomorrow, and i would say, well, there you go. it's a fairly useful phrase, if rather random.

i've been wondering why i've started saying it so much lately, why it's become such a big part of my vernacular. then, yesterday, in the car on the drive up to buffalo wild wings for 50 cent wings, i said something about it to meredith and jesse. meredith said, yeah, jesse says that all the time. and jesse said, yeah, i always say that. and that was that.

so i guess jesse is rubbing off on me, and i didn't notice. that worries me a little :)

the times they are a changin' (ever heard of that as a post title before?)

i'm still amazed at how quickly things can change. i am so happy these days, but for completely different reasons than the reasons i was happy just a few weeks ago.

in april, i started but never finished a blog post about how i felt like i was floundering--that was the word that kept coming back to me. i felt really good about a lot of relationships in my life, but i could feel myself failing in most of the other areas. and i was so stressed about it. the weight of a lot of struggles was on me. i was having the time of my life with my friends, but other important issues--school and work--were not falling into place.

now, i feel a million times better about my school and work situation. nothing is really figured out, but i have a plan and i have a knowledge that things happen for a reason. things are different with my friends, but they are different for good reasons. i'm having fun but also getting things done, which hasn't really been the case for quite awhile now.

so, i've come to terms with the fact that things change, but they change for good reason. life is all about adapting and succeeding gloriously, as elder scott puts it.

sometimes really simple things make me really happy

as most of my friends know, i have a thing for rainbows. i freaked out for days about how awesome our vast array of spray paint choices looked when it was all arranged in rainbow order. so, when i came to our fhe activity on monday and saw a brand new box of sidewalk chalk, i might have convinced a friend to take a couple pictures and send them to me.

isn't this the greatest? it makes me so happy!